Many people in relationship or marriage have encountered situations in which they deal with a cheating partner. Before deciding whether to forgive or forget one should take into consideration the options offered.
Scientific studies have shown that if a partner cheats once it is more likely that they will do it again regardless of the guilt they felt when doing that the first time.
Science has finally agreed that cheaters do not change. Firstly, this is connected with the brain. Believe it or not the brain learns to lie. When a partner lies about cheating this creates brain schemes which makes the person feel at ease to cheat again.
In the course of time this can become more extreme because the feeling of guilt when lying can disappear and the person can lie about other things as well besides cheating. Such situation can be a great burden on a relationship and question the issue of trust between partners.
An English study conducted in London by having people’s brains scanned while lying found out that over time the process of lying becomes easier for people i.e. they become compassionless to it. However, there is difference in cheating somebody once and cheating somebody more than once. It is not always just the partner’s fault that somebody got cheated.
Some recent studies show that people who were cheated in their first relationship are more likely to be cheated in future relationships. Take a look in the mirror if you have been cheated more than once and ask yourself ‘Is it only his fault ?.’
Think carefully and deeply about this although people who did cheat once while in a long term relationship are up to three times more likely to cheat again in other relationships.
Nevertheless, sometimes people may be too suspicious of future partners due to having bad cheating experience in the past.
Another study has shown that people based on their past experience are four times more likely to accuse their new partners of cheating if they had been cheated before. This again creates a very difficult and uncomfortable relationship.
Forgiving or forgetting adultery has been a question which unfortunately has no right or wrong answer. It is difficult to get over it and move on but some people choose to find a solution and overcome this whereas others simply leave immediately as soon as they learn of their partner’s infidelity.
It is not important whether you believe their promises to never cheat again, science clearly points out that they are likely to cheat on you again.
There is a reason for the old saying ‘Once A Cheater Always A Cheater’, bear it in mind if you find yourself in such situation and need to make a choice. If you decide to continue the relationship but feel lack of trust and love or constantly feel that you are holding your partner at gun point, the best way is to address a therapist and seek for professional advice.