It is generally known that all mothers are loving, that they need to be proud of their children and do their best to get to know them better. However, what is generally accepted is not always totally true.
In many cases, children particularly daughters, face unloving mothers, mothers who do not listen to them, tell them they are proud of them and offer all the love and affection they need. This emotional abuse can leave scars that last a lifetime.
Any daughter going through such loss faces hard struggle in order to believe again that they are loveable and respect-worthy. Every woman goes through this struggle in a different way which is obviously not an easy one.
However, it is important to manage this emotional damage and be prepared to move forward with the right perception of herself.
Otherwise, she might not find healing and freedom. When going through this process the daughter needs to cut her mother out of her life and stick to that decision.
Even though she may still long for her mother’s love believing that things will change, she needs to stop letting her back in because in the end she will end up hurt again being trapped in a vicious circle rather than move towards recovery.
The best way to move successfully towards recovery is to keep in mind the following steps. However, not everyone would go through them in order, some may jump between stages or even go back to the same phase because this process is different for everybody.
These are the five stages of grief and the path to recovery:
1. Denial
Women can get stuck in this stage for years believing that there is a problem but never accepting it. The reason why they refuse to acknowledge the problem is because they want to avoid the pain. Thus they do not see how badly the mother wounded them and deny the pain often until their mothers’ death.
2. Anger
Anger is the way in which pain is expressed. As a result, the pain and the sadness the daughter feels are eventually expressed through anger. This anger is usually irrational and illogical and it is directed towards targets such as the mother, the father, the siblings because she believes that they were more loved than she was.
The only way to go through this stage is forgiveness. By forgiving the daughter can release the bitterness towards the others that she finds hurtful.
3. Bargain
This is another stage which can last for years. She believes that by acting in a certain way she will get the appraisal of her unloving mother . If she wants to move forward, she must stop bargaining.
4. Depression
In this stage the feelings of pain and loss are the strongest. In order to get to the other side, she needs to cry and feel the loss as long as it takes. It is a critical stage and requires time to leave the pain behind.
5. Acceptance
This stage does not mean that she accepted everything and that everything is fine. It means that she accepted the loss and the change in her life. It means that she is ready to learn to live without her mother’s love.
