“Although many try to hide it, it attracts us the extravagant, the different and what is rare”
“Birds of a feather flock together”. Saving any negative connotation, rarely popular wisdom has described so well one of the most recent trends in couple relationships. The weird, curious and extravagant is not only fashionable, but becomes a feature of identity capable of creating deep connections, especially among younger generations. In an increasingly homogeneous and global world, what comes out of the norm exercises special magnetism and results in more authentic ties, based on the complicity of sharing a rarity that no longer is hidden, but is proudly claimed.
“I am a goddess who attracts all eyes,” says Kha de la Cerda, 25, who identifies himself as a non -binary person. High, blonde and as lush as his name, this model and actress, who also works as an event hostess, has learned to live in the countercurrent. “I don’t remember a single moment of my life where I feel you have fit,” he admits. But that has never prevented him from staying faithful to herself and her particular style, until she ends up being the focus of attention wherever she goes. “Even if many try to hide it, people attract the extravagant, the different and what finds it strange: he cannot avoid it,” he says. “I have lost the account of the times someone has come to link with me,” he adds.
I am a goddess who attracts all eyes (,,,) I have lost the account of the times someone has approached to link
This fascination with the different is a growing trend that has not gone unnoticed by dating applications. Some, as Bumble, ensure that, for more than half of the single people in Spain, the unique and extravagant interests are key in attraction. A phenomenon that have baptized as “Same fan, Vibe himself”And that points to that it connects more quickly and genuinely through what moves us, passionate or defines us. In this sense, half of the people of the Z generation that use these ligoteo apps, admits that shared hobbies are a powerful form of intimacy. It is no longer just about making a match, but to share the same way to see and understand the world.
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The unusual catches us, for many innate, although science has not yet managed to explain at all why. “Perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that we find very rewarding to identify the difference between the expected and the observed,” says Enric Soler, a psychologist in relations and tutor of the UOC psychology degree. “We seek to discover that incongruity between what a person appears and what it really is, and when that happens, we find it fascinating,” he says.
Something that Juan Sanz lives every day in the first person. His face, body and head tattooed, next to the subdermal implants that looks in various parts of his anatomy and ears dilations, give him a hard -type image. “Nothing is further from reality,” he smiles, “you talk to me for a while and all tattoos are erased.” “I am a very sensitive and loving person, for me the best medicine is a hug,” says this 48 -year -old tattoo artist. However, he also recognizes that his physical appearance has always been a great ally in his relationships. “On many occasions, I have not had a single word to link,” he says.
You talk to me for a while and all tattoos are erased (…) I am a very sensitive and loving person, for me the best medicine is a hug
“Each tattoo is a chapter of my life’s book,” explains Juan Sanz
For most of those people who leave the normative, the image they project goes far beyond the aesthetic: it is an identity feature that reflects both their personality and a philosophy of life. That is why it is not surprising that they often connect with those who share their same interests and passions. “Each tattoo is a chapter of the book of my life,” explains Sanz. “It is not a norm, but I usually look at tattooed women because their skin tells me in advance how much we have in common,” he acknowledges. Something that coincides with the sow. “The people with whom I usually link me, also out of the sentimental, are usually extravagant and groundbreaking,” says the model. “We not only understand each other better, but we also generate much better content in the networks,” he smiles.
Leire Pérez, 28, and Edu Gallo, 29, his two worlds were also connected by an unusual passion: the dragons. And not those of Komodo precisely, but those who throw fire through the mouth, in the purest game style of thrones. “We are united by frikism,” Gallo acknowledges. “We started talking about draconology and we continue with the Pokémon, through different types of video games and alternative rock, among many other peculiar hobbies. We were pulling the thread and we have been together for nine years,” says Pérez.
“What is familiar to us generates confidence,” says Soler in this regard. For this reason, for the psychologist, it is not strange to feel attracted by people whose passions, lifestyle and personality are close to us, all of them key aspects for a relationship to work. “My interests have always been very different from the rest of my environment,” Pérez explains, “but with Edu we click from the beginning.” First were the shared hobbies and, from there, love emerged. “I, until then, only the girls liked,” admits the young woman.
My interests have been very different from those in my environment, but with Edu we click from the beginning (…) until then I only liked girls
“It made no sense to waste time with someone who did not like Taylor Swift,” says Gabriela (26)
On other occasions, an interest as curious and particular as the fandom by a singer or a specific music style can also become the engine of the relationship. “In Tinder, a clear Red flag -Sañal alert- For me it was the type of music that the other person liked, ”recognizes Gabriela Salinas, 26.“ It made no sense I linked more than they imagined. Add. fandom swiftie It is part of our couple’s life, ”they say.
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For Gallo, coinciding with tastes and hobbies totally different from those of the majority, generates unique identity and complicity. “It’s great to discover a new hobby and know that your partner will enchant him the same or more than you,” he says. “We are looking forward to learning to forge axes,” confirms his partner, “is going to be our new joint hobby.” On the other hand, the swifties also point out that “the relationship is consolidated because you spend a lot of quality with your partner, doing something that passionate to both parties.” However, experts like Soler, warn that in a healthy relationship it is also important to leave space to the individual, since baseing the link on one or several concrete hobbies can become counterproductive. “It is about understanding the relationship as a shared story, in which each one retains their identity, but both build a constant evolution,” he clarifies.
Anyway, although the extravagant is fashionable and is more attractive than ever, for many it is not yet easy to fit into a world that often remains hostile towards the different. Those who break with the norm – whether because of their aesthetics, their identity or their shared passions – have to face prejudices and stereotypes that constantly question them. “It’s not uncommon for ladies, when they see me, they grab the bag,” says the tattoo artist with a smile. “I often don’t stop the taxis,” he adds. From the sow he has also lived in his own flesh. “Until I decided to empower myself, more than once I had to hide in the portal of some of my leagues, because I was ashamed that the neighbors saw me with him.”
For the psychologist, despite the difficulties, loving oneself and being loyal to one’s identity is the first step to build authentic relationships, because no one can offer their best version – not being truly loved – if he lives pretending to be the one who is not. “Don’t wait for tomorrow to be who you are today,” invites the model. After all, as the proverb points, there is always a pot for each pot.
